i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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