Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
