I didn't shave. On purpose
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
