If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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