You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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