We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
