put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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