We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
