I puked a lego.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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