drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
