And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
