And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
