She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
