Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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