If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
