and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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