i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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