If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.