So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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