The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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