You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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