is your mom at the bar?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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