Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
