I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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