there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
