i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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