Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My penis needs a shock collar
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
