Hey man sorry I got all grabby
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize