Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
