He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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