When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
