More tranny stories later!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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