So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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