Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
how does that bad decision feel?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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