it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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