I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize