Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
