I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Randomize
