My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
