JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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