i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
