im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
