ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize