You're my little dorito
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
