you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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