He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize