So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
