he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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