my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize