I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize