In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
