Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize