If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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