Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
