What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
