Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
