Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
