the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
