Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
