I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
